Years of spiritual practice or conduct will of course increase our chances to endure and welcome the wind of transformation when it comes, but if we're in that mind-set of gathering grace, for our future blessing, we are severely mistaken. They do not accept hand luggage on the Flight to Heaven. To enter that plane of communion we must be stripped naked.
When you look to the future for freedom, or take refuge in the past, you leave the one and only place where Life IS, and where awakening is possible – Here and Now. What you did last week, or the minute before this one, is of no consequence in this context. God, I dare say, will forgive the most hideous error or crime in a second. It is not “He” but We, that hinder His Light. We must find the courage to believe this, and to forgive ourselves, and that's the one and only tricky part.
Spiritual discipline, and a religious way of life, are not there to merit our future salvation. We practice and live this way to improve our relation to the NOW (Life). Whatever our self-judgment, whatever our doubts, we should let go of them and re-enter Being (here) at once. Here is where the Lord awaits us, here is where He invites us, and here is where we may chose to strip naked (sacrifice our egos) before Him. Nothing we did in the past have the power to stop this from happening, but for the mental bonds of faithlessness that cause us to hide in Time.
It is better that we return to this now (the presence of the Lord), if only for a second, than make up plans for a future in perfect virtue. Fall into the deepest pit of Sin, it doesn't matter. If we re-enter this now in faith and fully undressed (of us), the Lord will welcome us with all of His Love, and embrace us as if we were (in our capacity of) His One and only Son. I will even claim that; if we come with empty hands, He is unable to deny us.